Tuesday, February 22, 2011

What's For Dinner?

I started making dinner tonight, not thinking anything of it at the time, but then realized that I definitely just made fish sticks and salad.

And God damn if it wasn't delicious! :)

I can now shave 20 years off my age.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Stupid Kids in my Neighborhood!

I may have mentioned the amount of little kids always running around my neighborhood. I don't actually have a lot in my cul-de-sac, but the adjacent streets are packed full of kids. I usually see them riding their bicycles in gangs, or just running around in the grass. It makes life stressful too; after a hard day at work I'm too tired to watch the road to avoid running over these Arkansas spawn. They should know, if something happens, it's not my fault.

Today on my drive home I saw a pack of them sitting on skateboards riding down their driveway. Into the street.  I didn't hit one. So I rounded the corner and noticed a branch on of of the taller trees in the neighborhood shaking up and down. What were they up to now? They were climbing the tree. Pretty freakin' high too. Look:

And this was on their way down. It's kind of hard to see, but right below the shirtless one there is another. Where are these kids' parents? Seeing the number of little kids around makes me kind of paranoid; I don't want them peeking through my windows at night or something. Trust me, it happens. I used to do it.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Lots of Snow

Northwest Arkansas had a snowstorm a couple days ago. We got anywhere from 12 to 20 inches, depending on where you were. I don't really like winter, and as far as snow goes, I only like it while it is happening. It looks awesome, but the cons outweigh the pros for me. I WAS kind of happy, though, when I got snowed in and had to work from home. There's something exciting about working from home, being able to work in your pajamas and not take a shower, but there is definitely a productivity issue.

It snowed a couple days ago, I got to work from home yesterday, and today the snow was starting to melt. I decided I would be a savage and go into work, even if hardly anyone else did. Heck, I'm from Kansas, I'm used to driving in this kind of weather. So I got up, showered, got dressed, made lunch, and got into my car. I opened the garage without really looking at how deep the snow was and backed out.

My car is now stuck in my driveway. Here's some POV shots of what I got to see when I realized I wasn't going to be making it in to work.

Snow up to the door

My Hamburger Helper makes a cameo on the left

She never had a chance

This weekend the temperature is supposed to get into the 50s though, so this stuff should all melt away. I was hoping that when I moved south I wouldn't have to worry about this crap anymore. I guess I didn't go far enough. Tijuana, here I come! 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Fried Egg Chili Chutney Sandwich, Smeg Head!

I have recently become addicted to the (quite old) show Red Dwarf. It is a British comedy which aired from 1988 to 1999, but thanks to Netflix Instant Streaming I have the whole series at my fingertips. I'm pretty late to the party, but considering I was 2 when the show aired (on BBC), I am perfectly content watching them when I'm 25 in 2011.

From Left: The Cat, Lister, Rimmer, and Kryten

For those of you who don't know what this show is about, let me provide a summary. The show is set in the future and takes place on a spaceship called Red Dwarf. The main characters (and almost ONLY characters) are shown above. The main main character, Lister, is a cut-up who is always causing problems and likes to do things his own way. He gets in trouble a lot, but is quite likable. The other main character is Lister's superior, Rimmer, and is more of a straight-laced type who is unpopular because he is so by-the-books. They are basically opposites.

Lister gets cryogenically frozen for 3 million years and when he wakes up he is the only person alive! The only company he has is Holly, the ships computer, a holograph of Rimmer, and The Cat, who evolved from Lister's pregnant cat over the past 3 million years. The Cat is pretty awesome. He acts just like a cat.

I actually wrote about 3 more paragraphs summarizing the show, but realized that no one probably cares. You should just watch the show, it is very entertaining.

In one episode, Lister and Rimmer get drunk and Lister discusses eating a fried egg, chili, chutney sandwich. Lister says it is the best cure for a hangover:

Rimmer describes the sandwich as feeling like he's having a baby. He also says that it is a mix between food and bowel surgery. They are producing a lot of hype for this sandwich! After watching a few more seasons of the show I was STILL thinking about this sandwich. I decided I had to have one, so I hopped on over to Google and found a promising looking recipe

I went to the store and got the supplies, including chili sauce and mango chutney. Chutney is an interesting ingredient. Price Cutter only had one kind, so I picked it up not really knowing what to expect with it. 

Genuine Major Grey's Chutney. It's made with mangoes, it can't be that bad

I followed the recipe and made my sandwich! I only used 3 pieces of bread and 2 eggs though, as I thought that would fill me up plenty. Plus that's the way it looked in the show.

So far, so good

First layer: complete

Not much different than the previous picture


I completed the fried egg, chili, chutney sandwich! A work of art! I was, however a little apprehensive. Was I going to feel like I was having a baby? How was the chutney going to taste? Will I finish it? I gathered my courage and took some bites. 

Some bites

Not bad! The only complaint I have is that I didn't get that "bowel surgery" feeling. Maybe I made it wrong. Actually, I did. I cooked the eggs waaay too long. Next time, I will make sure they are still runny. Also, that mango chutney is really sweet, and I don't really like sweet things. I'll have to go lighter on the chutney next time. Also, some hot sauce wouldn't hurt. All in all, not an unpleasant experience, AND I got to live out a part of my beloved show, Red Dwarf. My evening is complete. Well, not completely complete. I completely failed to complete my sandwich. It was too much for me.


Admittedly, those remains look like a used tampon. It tasted better than I imagine a used tampon to taste though. So with that in mind, go and make yourself a fried egg, chili, chutney sandwich!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Google Search: I Can See My Nose

Today I woke up and felt like a log and didn't feel like moving. Nothing unusual there. But I didn't even feel like moving my head to look at the clock and so I simply moved my eyes all the way to left. Some stupid transparent blob was blocking my view! It was obviously my nose. Everyone can see their noses all the time but we naturally ignore the image.

Now, our brains are pretty good at making sure we don't go completely insane (most of us, anyway) by taking care of a lot of little issues. Thanks to the lenses in our eyes, the light that comes in gets flipped upside down before hitting our retinas, but our good ol' brains know just what to do, and makes sure we perceive everything as right-side up. Likewise, we can always see our noses but Mr. Brainy completely ignores it so we can go about our lives.

That's most of us, anyway. When I saw my nose this morning I found it kind of funny to suddenly become self conscious like that, so I headed over to Google to see what other people thought about this. It turns out this natural, everyday, and universal experience is not always sufficiently ignored by our brains.

"What did I do to deserve this!???"

This person, Guest1198, apparently just realized she could see her nose when she looks down or forward and wants to know what could cause such a dilemma! She was recently tanning and having sinus problems. Perhaps the tanning gave her super N-Ray vision powers! She also has been having sinus problems, so maybe her sinuses just swelled up so big that she can now see her nose? She says she also has night blindness, so it could be that this is the first time she's been in a well-lit room for a while and is just amazed by even the smallest of human experiences. We can't be sure, but six people responded with answers such as, "I've always been able to see mine, is that not good?" and, "Look allll the way down, you can even see your cheeks." Mind = blown.

There are more of these similar questions too, such as this one. The post itself is kind of funny: 

"Why do i always see my nose, on both sides of my vision? like if u hold ur finger between ur eyes, it goes double. i always c my nose like that. i always thought it was normal"

But what is REALLY funny is a statement by one distressed commenter: 

"Wow you have found someone else. I see two noses in my vision, just like you described, my nose is doubled and it is extremely annoying and bothersome. The real worry is that I haven't always had this problem. I went to Africa last year and took a medication to prevent Malaria, it was called Malarone, and ever since taking that medication my vision has been "off" and my nose it constantly in my vision. At all times I see my nose doubled in my vision. I would give a lot to have my old vision back."

He would GIVE ANYTHING to have his old vision back. I guess Malarone gave him N-Ray vision too! 

This post here is my favorite I've found so far, though. She has finally conceded to the fact that she always has and always will be able to see her nose and she's not happy about it. What's worse is that she is even afraid to go out and have fun, or read, or anything because she will be concentrating on the fact that her nose is in her peripheral vision the whole time. Now, most of the responses are people just saying, "Well yeah, everyone sees their nose...." but there is a surprising number of people who say things like, "Uh oh, I've always been able to see my nose! Is that bad, am I going to die!?" Maybe I over-dramatized it a bit.

Anyway, just for fun I decided to illustrate what I am seeing at this exact moment:


You can clearly see my nose and the outline of my glasses. My nose looks a little weird from this angle though, maybe that's what all these people are so concerned about. By the way, I made that image by getting up reeeeally close to the screen and outlining my vision, which is admittedly a little weird, but oh well. It's too late to undo it, it happened. 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Thrift Store Adventures: Best/Strangest Thrift Purchase Ever!

I do love me some thrift stores. I've gotten some very interesting and unique items from second hand stores, things you just can't find anywhere else (except maybe eBay), and many of those items will end up on this website sooner or later. But today, I would like to put the spotlight on one item I found particularly mesmerizing/interesting/great/sexy?/strange/funny/beautiful/noteworthy.

When I saw it, it simply looked like a small, framed poster from some cartoon of two girls on a playground eating bags of chips. When I look closer, I realized that it was no ordinary poster, and that it seemed to have several layers, each with its own portion of the picture. When I looked even closer, I noticed that it wasn't just a picture, but a hand-painted piece. When I looked closer still, I put it alllll together, and realized I was dealing with an actual animation cel!

I was pretty stoked and, with a price tag of $3.00, it completely made my day. Probably my life. I proudly displayed my original/unique/unusual/fantastic art cel in my living room for all guests to see and be super jealous of. I mean, come on, who WOULDN'T be envious of such a masterpiece???

Just a happy playground scene, right?

That's right. I have an authentic animation cel of a set of interracial friends enjoying a nice bag of chips, on what appears to be a playground, in the 1970's. With heavy eyelids. And holding their bags lovingly... "Wait a minute, they're not simply enjoying chips at all, are they!?" Well sir, it appears as though you are correct. There has to be something more to this scene.

My friends and I have come up with three possible scenarios for this picture, dismissing the idea of it just being two friends at recess eating bags of chips in substitution to the gruel their school lunch ladies call "grilled cheese sandwiches." Our theories:

1) Two girls went for a long walk. One is dressed in a sensible pink turtle neck and less sensible/more trendy pink pants, and the other in an awful blue denim affair, but she still looks cool because it's ironic. They stopped by a convenience store for a drink of water and a light snack. After purchasing "Chips" brand chips, they make their way back home, but on the basketball court of the park, they catch each others' eyes. Each is smitten with the beauty of the other, and all feels so right, so natural. They let their bodies and newly-developed hormones take control. Their eyes lower, and go in for the kiss. And boom. That's the scene.

2) A couple of cheerleaders got picked up by a purple psychedelic van full of a group of teenagers and a dog name Scooby in the 70's. They visited some house the teens claimed was haunted, but was really just their grandma's and they just said it was haunted to make the cheerleaders feel more vulnerable and willing to do a "doggie show" for them. They never said whether or not they did the show, but they did say they got baked as hell off of the "sticky icky icky" and some weed browies, and the teens even gave them a parting gift of some chips. This scene is right after they got dropped off at a parking lot and the girls are mashing their chips cuz they have the munchies, but are confused as to how they are going to get home. Bam, this is that scene.

3) The new girl at school, Moteesha, is from the Bronx. Her family can't afford to take her to fancy stores like JC Penny, and so, alas, she must shop at Goodwill or a trashcan. This makes Moteesha self conscious and makes it hard for her to find friends, especially when she wears that tiny blue vest and elastic-waistbanded jeans. Popular, but ditzy, Laura makes it her mission to welcome the new girl by sitting with her in Social Studies, and they quickly become friends. "I gots this shit that'll blow your fucking mind," says Moteesha. "Let's ditch PE and I'll show you." "Teehee, OK! :)" says Laura. And so after class they sneak out and go behind the dumpster on the playground, where Moteesha pulls out two old chip bags and a half can of spray paint. A few huffs and puffs later, and we have this glorious scene!

My bets are on theory 3, but they all make sense to me. What do you guys think? The only thing that doesn't make sense is that the background is printed off of a crappy printer! The whole thing is masterfully done and hand painted, but the background is a garden-variety print-out? Double-you tee eff? This conundrum was so mind-boggling that a friend and I decided to take the cel apart and look for clues. It was professionally framed and matted and even backed, so it was risking damaging my gorgeous piece of art, but the curiosity was too much.

Clearly hand-painted.

Different layers of celluloid for animation.

Numbered frame.

Printed fucking background!! 

The autopsy disclosed nothing. Why would someone go to all the trouble to paint, frame, mat, and back this and just throw on some ho-hum printed background? Perhaps the mystery shall never get solved, and perhaps it is actually the mystery that is the diamond-in-the-rough with this, but if anyone has ANY information about this I would be happy to hear it.