The Secret of the Cup and Saucer!

I can accredit this post to my sister who found this greatest-ever cup and saucer. I was visiting her in Kansas and (surprise, surprise) we went to a thrift store to check out the wares. It turns out, since the Overland Park area has so many rich people, their thrift stores have way more/better quality stuff. In Arkansas I mostly just find chipped Precious Moments figurines and broken fondue sets.

Anyway, this is my tribute to the greatest cup and saucer ever made. I say this not only because I have never felt any emotion toward a cup and saucer before now, but because this particular set holds a secret message imprinted into it! Take a look:

I will forgive its puke-green color

I have previously confessed my love for personal mementos found at thrift stores, so finding this made for a happy day. I'll be honest though, I was hoping for the message said something like, "I can't stand living in this house anymore. Susan just won't shut up, and all these cats are driving me insane! I want to leave but I know they're still watching me. I'll just have to take care of Susan and each one of those cats myself..." 

Instead, I feel like this guy (and I do think the artist is a guy, but I don't know why) was in an art class or something and just putting down whatever popped into his head at the time, which seems kind of lame until you realize that each one of these letters had to be put into the wet clay cup/saucer one letter at a time. And there are over 1000 characters imprinted into the cup and saucer (thank you MS Word). 

I am going to transcribe the entire secret message below, but will add any punctuation and spacing that will make it easier to read. I am keeping the typos and grammar errors though, just because. 

"I am going to try to spiral this one. I hope it works out. Michelle is writing down something. It's time for lunch. Back from lunch. It was OK. Acredidation guy talked to Roy, Jason, Sara, and me about our department. I would like to go outside but the cup will dry too fast. Damn. Rob is talking about a English teacher who has three different toupees. Actually more like a full wig. Karen is talking about Mimi's armpits and also ingrown hairs. Yuck. Victor is watching me and says he's being hypnotized. I dunno what to put on here. Kaori is casting. Gabriel is throwing Becca too. Victor is talking about hickeys. This is my last cup. This makes me happy. I need to do somethig new....."

Can you read this?

"We're talking about Days of Our Lives and how Marlena was possessed by the devil. There's computer chip in John's and Princess Gina's head. Stepheno is the evil one obsessed with Marlena and locked in a cage. I started to cry I was laughing so hard. It's Michelle and Becca's favorite soap, they tape it everyday. Now stories of deceiving parents. This is too funny. Now it's onto car explosions and accidents. I want to go outside. Driver's training stories and about the work horse and Cathy drove over the ladies lawn to impress Jordan... I just stopped watching the sexy bachelor thing. It was real bad."

If that isn't prime entertainment, I don't know what is. Or maybe I'm just really strange and get my kicks in unusual ways. Either way, kudos to whoever made this, and even more kudos to whoever felt it wasn't worth keeping and donated it to the thrift store. You never know what you'll find.