Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Thoughts from the Cube!

Work is... well, work. So when something interesting happens there, I take note. Here are a few interesting things that happened last week.

I sit right next to the printer at work, which, although sometimes handy, is usually really annoying. Not only do I hear the thing going off about 10,000 times throughout the day, but I have to be more careful about what is on my computer screen for fear that someone is watching me work while waiting for their prints. The other day the printer started malfunctioning. I wasn't paying any attention to this, but the IT guy came over and someone explained the problem to him.

This is what I heard: "The printer keeps printing 'N-word.'"

This had obviously piqued my interest! I was really excited to see our hilariously racist printer calling my fellow coworkers derogatory names, so I spun around hoping to catch some of the action for myself. Well I guess the printer isn't racist, but just boring and annoying as always. Instead of spitting the prints out like normal, the paper was curling up inside the printer. "Ohhhh, Not 'N-word," I thought, "'INWARD.'" Boo.

So I continued my day as normal. I had to print out a set of engineering drawings on the plotter in the work room, so I was waiting for those to print and checking out all the supplies. That's when I saw these puppies:

Giant scissors! While you may not think these are very interesting, I was stricken with a giddiness that is not easily achieved at work. Thoughts of Edward Scissorhands crossed my mind, and so did the simple fact that these were just cartoonishly large scissors. 

After enjoying that (very) small delight, I went to the bathroom. While sitting there, I looked down and noticed something that struck me as slightly disturbing; some guy had chewed off his fingernails and spit them on the ground in front of the toilet.

There were five total nails (one didn't make the shot) which means that he bit off the nails of one entire hand... but not the other! While pooping! I don't know why he spit them on the ground instead of in the toilet. I only hope he did this before he wiped.

That reminds me of seeing burger wrappers in the trashcan next to the toilet at fast food restaurants. I've seen it more than once. There are actually people who eat burgers while taking a dump, which is way worse than biting your nails on the pot. There are too many reasons to list why eating food while making a BM is disgusting. I just wonder what the other people in the bathroom thought when they heard poopy sounds followed by chomping and chewing. 

Probably about the same as  the people who heard poopy sounds followed by a camera going off (as the person on the other side takes pictures of fingernails on the ground). Whoops.


  1. My office is and open space. We don't really have cubes, so I have to be careful about my computer screen too and who is around. But I've positioned my desk in a way that I have time to close or minimize anything non-work related quickly before anyone spots it. My Betta fish is the only one who knows I read and comment on Blogs at work.

  2. I've always wondered what the hell happened to Alpha fish??

  3. Wouldn't an alpha fish be a Jesus fish? The alpha symbol, α, looks like a Jesus fish anyway.