Monday, June 20, 2011

Thrift Store Adventures: Random!

I'm too tired to come up with a clever theme tonight, so here are a few random/awesome things I've stumbled across recently! 

OK, let's start things off with a bang. Or maybe a scream.

This quaint little piece of art not only speaks to my heart, but also eats my soul. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it is an actual painting, not a print! I clearly had to have it - until an even closer inspection revealed some numbers randomly placed on the canvas, barely visible through the paint. A paint-by-numbers painting. Clown, you failed at your job of making me happy and made me sad. But that's not the reason I'm crying; you are simply frightening. 

After collecting my tears, I walked by some mugs and noticed this little gem:

I would love to take this mug to work, just to watch the faces of my co-workers! It would make sense seeing as how I already have a calender of "cute animals" in my cubicle, which gets me plenty of odd looks. My particular sector of humor, unfortunately, misses the general public. Inside the mug was a really sweet note, which I will transcribe below (OK, this is not true, but I really want it to be):

"Dear Jacob, last night was uber-terrific! :) Thanks for finally bringing out Mr. SmellyMuffin - what a great costume, and such an artful way to incorporate the neighbor's dog! Anyway, I saw this mug and thought you'd like it, although I wish it said "Stinking of You" instead ;)"

Ahh, young love. Speaking of which...

Considering the fact that I'm in the middle of the Bible Belt and the fact that it's probably not hard to find me in real life from this blog, I will leave it up to you, Dear Reader, to make the connection between this kid's pose and facial expression and the fact that Jesus is sometimes called the "invisible presence." Special friend, indeed!

This next item just rubbed me the wrong way.

Click the picture and get a nice, full look at this "art." The back of this... thing... says that it is "dough art" and that in order to keep it in prime condition, you should brush some oil on it once in a while. I'm guessing the previous owners of this plaque neglected to rub the oil on this naked family, which is why it looks like they all have scabies. Let me list the reasons why this thing creeps me out:

1) Their eyes: They have soulless black hollows where their eyes should be, which is kind of disturbing.
2) Their hair: It looks like they are all using ground beef as wigs, each in varying stages of freshness.
3) Their incest: The whole family is rub-a-dub-dubbing in the tub, dog included. Taking baths with the entire family is pretty questionable behavior according to how I was raised. It's probably how they all got scabies in the first place.

I hate that thing.

Finally, we have a book that goes against the grain and actually shows the trouble with rape.

Since rape is fast becoming a favorite pastime for us denizens of Earth, the author of this book looks past all of the good, and gives us a look at the ugly side of rape. The smaller text in the bottom left corner says "A psychologist's report on the legal, medical, social, and psychological problems." Problems? With rape? Shocking!

This book may be legitimate psychology book (I don't know, I didn't even read the back cover) but it seems like it is trying to dissuade the public from raping everyone. It's kind of funny to imagine a potential rapist reading this book to help him decide whether or not to violently sexually molest someone. What's sad is that this book was in a thrift store, meaning someone once owned this, perhaps weighing his pros and cons. Glad we have such academic rapists here in Arkansas!


  1. Heh. I love thrift stores. So many classic items to make fun of!!

  2. Great (and creepy) finds from the thrift store! Too bad thrift stores from where I'm from don't sell those kind of stuff.. So you bought the clown? Where would you place it? Is is big? It really scares me, it's like from a horror movie!! haha And the family with scabies - what were they thinking?! that question goes out not only to the family but the artist! haha

  3. A book describing the troubles with rape !..craziest thing ever..who's the author ??

  4. hahahaha the trouble with rape?! hmm....

    that bathtub kid plaque is CREEPY. thrift stores need to tone down the sexuality. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

  5. Love your thrift store adventures! I might have to steal this idea some time! I have some great finds around my house - including a velvet clown painting!

  6. Hahaha, this is fabulous! Thrift store adventures are the best, and good call on the scabies comment about the bath tub clay thing.

    I knew there was something wrong with how their bodies looked, I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.