Monday, October 31, 2011

Spooky Thrift Store Items and Halloween!

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays; you get to dress up like and idiot and indulge in food and drinks. It's also a time when scaring the crap out of everyone is perfectly acceptable, which is good for me since I love horror movies. I also love thrift stores, so I will use Halloween as an excuse to show you a bunch of disturbing thrift store finds from recently. But first, I will share some of my Halloween shenanigans.

A couple friends and I decided to dress as characters from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. In particular, Dayman, Nightman, and the Troll from the episode The Nightman Cometh. If you haven't watched that show, I highly recommend it, as it is abundant with hilariously inappropriate humor. But if you haven't watched it, don't feel bad; just about zero people got the reference. Here is a picture of what we were going for:

And this is our interpretation:

No one was really ready for that picture... But my friend (Nightman) had some pretty sweet contacts!

The best part was that they kept rotating all night so the slits would be going all sorts of crazy directions. 

I also decided to dress up for work, thinking I would be among other fellow holiday celebrators, but unfortunately, no, I was the only one. In the entire building. Not only that, but no one even knew I was dressed up! I have to dress "business casual" at work, so basically slacks and a polo, but today I wore a great 70's sports coat, tie, and vest I found at a thrift store and went as a 70's business guy.

I did get a lot of compliments on how nice I looked though, so I guess that's a nice consolation. My favorite part of the outfit is the inside of the jacket:

It's got an awesome vintage-y look to it, plus those armpit stains were free of charge! I also found a bunch of tobacco in the pockets when I bought it...

Anyway, enough about me, let's talk about thrift stores! In no particular order, here are a bunch of random creepy things I've come across as of late. First up, we have these very creepy dolls I found in this plastic box. Prepare for nightmare fuel.

They might not look like much from there, but you can see the malicious intent on the doll on the left as it peers out from its dirty yellow prison. He can't wait to get out, and so I do as he wishes.

Gah! They're horrible :( Just look at the piercing blue eyes of the girl. I think their hair is... real human hair... seriously. Also, I don't think her outfit is appropriate - she is clearly missing a bra. Judging by the size of the boy's head, he is obviously a huge toddler. I don't know what's going on with his overalls, either, but I guess they just had to strap a couple belts on a tarp as it is probably difficult to find clothes for an enormous child. I'm not even sure these dolls are supposed to go together because the boy only has movable arms, whereas the girl has movable everything, including weighted eyes so she can "go to sleep." 

Or get murdered. You be the judge. I don't even want to know where the above scene is going. 

Here is a very, uh, "modern" doll. 

It's the "I Just Ran Into a Doorknob, Seriously, You Guys" doll. If domestic violence isn't spooky, I don't know what is. 

Next up, we have an interesting jar.

Or perhaps it is an urn. This thing must be a joke, but who the hell would actually buy this and put it in their house? We're not spiders, we don't murder our partners after we become lovers. This jar could give off one of two messages: 1) I'm a crazy woman, or 2) I'm a crazy man. I was curious so I picked it up and heard something inside.

Oh god, it's not a joke! 

Here is a real work of art:

It's a childhood version of Kathy Bates from Misery! If you don't know what I'm talking about, you should watch this, and then watch the entire movie because it is great. Look at the way she holds her doll's ankle - it's as if she's been dreaming of hobbling someone her entire life! Creepy effing statue. 

Here is a very confusing statue thing:

Not sure exactly what is going on here, but it appears those two children have ingested large quantities of magic mushrooms. It would certainly explain their choice in clothing. The boy on the left looks like he was once holding something in his hand that they are both mesmerized with, but since that piece has broken off, it just looks like these kids are tripping on drugs. Or maybe they are fish-people who have inhabited the bodies of two kids but haven't quite gotten the whole "facial expression" thing down yet. That would explain the huge eyes and fish mouth.

Here is another statue with creepy eyes. So many creepy-eyed statues!

"I think you're nice - please let me eat your soul :)" 

I found this candle of a golf-playing bear...

... and decided to light it and see what happens. Unfortunately the wick only went to his neck, but the results were still intriguing.

"It's starting to get a little warm in here..."

"Yes. I definitely feel something hot."

"Don't mind my face lying all over the place, guys."

And Golf Bear was no more. The wax melted in a pretty interesting way though. Right along side all the bits of his head.

And finally, another doll:

This doll is labeled "Cute Expressions," and, surprisingly, of all the cute expressions I can think of, "pure hatred" is not among them. Look at those eyes. That baby looks like it will rip your face off the moment you unwrap its cellophane cage. It's no mystery that this thing ended up in a thrift store - can you imagine how pissed you'd be if you asked for a baby doll for Christmas and your mom gave you this thing? 

Also, check out that picture in the lower right. Notice the arrows going into and out of the baby's chest. I am 100% sure that that picture depicts directions on how to kill this devil baby. "Not included: 1 wooden stake."


  1. I'm curious to know where you put all this stuff! Do you have a thrift room in your house where you put all these things?
    And the dolls freaked me out. The tiny one with black eyes is a demon.
    I swear it.

  2. you find the absolute scariest things!

    you have a talent, woody. i'm not sure if it's good or evil yet... but it's a TALENT

  3. I was seriously about to ask the same question as culinarystorm! lol

    Where do you put all that stuff?? I'd love to see photos.

  4. Storm and Nicole: I have been getting lots of questions about my house and where I put stuff! I actually only buy some of the things I put on here. You can tell if I bought it or not by the backgrounds of the pictures; one will look like a thrift store, the other will look like my house. And I'm def not a hoarder, I actually keep the place fairly tidy, although pretty weirdly-decorated. I'll post pics in the near future...

    ihateeverything: I know, I love it! But thanks, I was born gifted I guess :)

  5. Wow... all the dolls! Weirdly enough, the only holiday I can fully enjoy is Halloween. The rest kinda suck on the actual day of. Lol about the work place costume you do look nice in it though. The "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" bit was as close as can be!

  6. Holy cow! Why am I just finding your blog now! What a great idea:) I don't like the nicest looking of dolls, well done on the creepy bit. It's so odd to thrift shop, come across something crazy and think, "They actually made more than one of these!"

    P.S. You looked smashing in both your costumes!

  7. RetroFlirt: I completely agree, Halloween is the best. Although there's not much to complain about with New Year's.

    Amelia: Thanks! :) I am the EXACT same way! I always wonder how/why they made this stuff in the first place!! Thrift stores are fun.

  8. First of all, you look very handsome in that suit! :) Second, those children look like they have their mouths open for some oral pleasure. Maybe it's just my dirty mind, but that's what I thought when I saw it! Oh and lighting that bear candle just seems cruel. What did the bear ever do to you? lol

  9. Oh my god, that URN!! How freakin creepy! It looks like an old lady kept her late husband next to the cookie jar.

  10. Completely agree with above commenter - you have a gift. A talent. A knack for finding the most hilariously obscure items and writing about them in a way that makes them even better. As always, WYKI continues to be one of my favorite blogs. So many creepy things! Please describe that lump in the urn - do you really think it was someone's ashes, or a prop that someone put in there as a joke? Either way...pretty freakin' creepy. I would love to see pictures of the way you have decorated your house. Also, I've never watched Philadelphia but I know some fans of the show and they swear it's one of the best things you'll ever watch.