Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Thrift Store Adventures: Randomness!

Sometimes I like categorizing my Thrift Store Adventures into themes, but sometimes I'd just rather go completely random, like today!

I picked up this awesome lamp with a built-in end table at the Salvation Army:

After some TLC it is looking a little better, and it brings me one step closer to transforming my house into a sweet '60s pad. My hope is that once I fill my house with nothing but things from pre-1980, I will travel back in time. I'll keep you guys updated on that...

See that little clock on the tablelamp? Well it's awesome:

It is a fold-up travel alarm clock from the '60s! It is key-wound so if you're planning on actually using this alarm clock you'd better hope you remembered to wind it the night before. Actually, I tested it out and it lasts a good couple days, and actually keeps time. I'm quite happy with it :)

A lot of people have been asking me about the state of the inside of my house due to all these thrift store items I always post. I actually only BUY a small number of the items I show on this site. You can usually tell whether I bought it or not by the background; if it looks like a house, it's in my house. If it looks like the picture's taken from a store, I just left it there, to rot. I have also gotten requests to see pictures of the inside of my house, which actually isn't all that interesting, but I think I will soon oblige in a future post.

This picture is interesting, not because of the content, but because it was in a thrift store:

To me, the point of donating to Goodwill or the Salvation Army or other thrift stores is so that the less fortunate (or I) can find cheap used items that the previous owner no longer needs or wants. Finding personal baby photos like this is just boggling to me.

"What about this, honey? Should we donate this?"
"Oh, the first pictures we have of little Ronnie? ... Yeah, I think we'd better donate that, someone else needs it more than we do."

On the other hand, something like this boggles my mind for another reason:

How could anyone give away their framed Golden Girls stencil-art picture! Oh my goodness. The frame is covered in rainbow stickers. What a masterpiece. I was tempted to buy this for the humor value, but I'm not sure if anyone would understand... I would send it away as a Thrift Store Pen Pal item, but I figured the glass would break during shipping and I'd end up with a lawsuit.

At first I thought this was a picture of Jesus:

Then I realized it was just a picture of Jesus. As in, "hey-zoos." What a weird picture, although he does look quite pleasant! He's giving a look of "something good just happened, but I'm only mildly interested." That's the exact look I'd have if I found out I won an eBay auction for wool socks or something.

Here's another, even weirder Jesus item:

They always told me Jesus was going to return from the dead, but they never told me he'd be a mummy! Zoinks, Scoob! I have no idea what this thing is, but it's really stupid looking. It just looks like a Jesus cactus to me, and judging by his face, he's pissed about it. I think I'd rather be crucified than have my entire body wrapped in masking tape like that.

I found a signed copy of a movie!

Too bad the movie is Commander Kellie and the Superkids: The Sword. I checked the back and each one of the signatures corresponds with a character in the movie. At first I thought someone just wrote these names on the cover, but they look pretty legit to me. I can't believe I found such a rare piece of memorabilia... Off to eBay to make my fortune!

This is the movie Pinocchio:

Although you wouldn't know it just based on the cover art. I don't understand the logic of putting some random chick's face on the cover of freaking Pinocchio. Okay, I get that she plays Pinocchio in the movie, but isn't Pinocchio trying to be a real BOY? This picture is clearly a WOMAN.

I did some research on Sandy Duncan and found out that she has a glass eye, which makes it subtly hilarious that the price sticker is directly over her eye.

Here's another classic, Tubby the Tuba:

Tubby is trying everything he can to get you to like him. He even boasts that he has "FREE POPCORN ENCLOSED" on the cover of the movie! I checked and no, there was no popcorn, which is probably a good thing because I would have felt personally challenged to eat it had it still been there. Anyway, Tubby has no friends, as is illustrated by the fact that he's blowing himself. The tuba is blowing himself. On the cover of a children's movie.

Lastly, we have Big Big Story Book, a big story book:

Although by itself, this is hardly material for my blog (except for the fact that the poodle has demon-red eyes and those sadistic kids dressed their pet donkey up as a clown), but the real treasure is on the inside cover:

"To Sharon
From Lester

I hate you Norma and Carroll and Skipper. I hate you."

Damn. That's harsh! The fact that the entire note is in the same handwriting kind of makes me laugh. That means that when Lester chose to give Sharon this book he also felt the need to include a hate note to three other people. Sharon is sure-as-shit going to see that note when she opens the book, so I can only surmise that Sharon and Lester share a mutual hatred of poor Norma and Carroll and Skipper, and this note will only help to bring them closer together. Love bound by hate. Poetic.

If I can find completely random/awesome little notes like that in completely random books, imagine what else is out there, undiscovered and forgotten! Ah thrift stores, how I love thee.


  1. LOVE the lamp side table. Very smart choice! Now all you need is a shag carpet rug lol

  2. I love it too, it's right at home in my home! I know, I would totally get a shag carpet haha.

  3. The lamp table is rather classy!love it!
    My grand-dad used to have one of those alarm clocks :)
    And the Big Big Story book is the most disturbing by far! Did you notice that the horse looks like he's been beaten?!

  4. Great stuff! Most of the things you find are hilarious but ultimately serve no purpose - that lamp table is definitely an exception! I think it's quite handy...the only problem? All of those old wires going right through wood. Do you think it's safe? It's really sad that someone gave away their kid's baby pictures - it really is mind boggling. But kind of cool to see how the little guy changed each month! If I had to pick my favorite line from this entry it would be a tie between "Jesus cactus" and "The tuba is blowing himself. On the cover of a children's movie."

    Btw, that Pinocchio movie? It looks like a porn. It has to be porn. Where is her shirt? It's gone because it's a porno! And given that it's based upon Pinocchio's nose the jokes practically write themselves.


  5. I LOVE the lamp table and clock! I have the same exact First Year picture frame (minus someone else's baby pics) for my baby! You always find interesting things, but then again, it's not hard to come across different things at the Salvation Army. Let us know when you do travel back in time! LOL

  6. LOL the sticker over Sandy Duncan glass eye. Makes me think of a pirate. "Iya Matey!"

  7. I have never seen a picture of "hey-zoos" before in my life and now I feel like it's complete, Woody. Thanks for sharing that! Lol If I got a card that told me someone hated me, it wouldn't be in a thrift store though. . .it would be in the garbage.

  8. HAHAHAHA oh my goddd I LOVE your adventures.

  9. This is the best. I want to thrift where you thrift. Or at least get some advice on how to find the weirdest/most amazing items ever.

    The Golden Girls pic? I'm in awe.