Monday, March 28, 2011

Random/Strange/Cool Pictures From My Old Phone!

My friend Lisa gave this site a pretty good plug, so here's likewise: Lisa's blog about random stuff and music. Apparently she'll do arts and crafts for you if you are no good at it yourself. I think I'm going to request a pair of knitted gloves with "LOVE" and "HATE" on the knuckles. And after I just Googled that, I'm a little sad that it is not an original idea. However, I'm pretty sure I could have some Love and Hate gloves that are way cooler that the examples I found.

Actually, heck with that. I think I'm just going to start knitting myself (sorry, LiLu). Why not? There is apparently a decent number to dudes who knit, as can be seen from this site: Men Who Knit. But still... after browsing the gallery, I'm mostly seeing baby socks and standard sweaters and stuff. My new hobby is going to be way manlier; I'm going to knit a grizzly bear, a beer cozy, and a can of WD-40. All while watching Wheel of Fortune with your Grandma.

Another nifty idea would be to make my own knitted Halloween costume. It would fit right in with my last few years' costumes of Quail Man, skin tight Gold Suit Man, and my homemade dog costume. And I know what you're probably saying, "Pics or it didn't happen." Well. That's true. And that may be a post for another day, but this is not the right time for internet humiliation. I normally have to work myself up to that.

No. In this episode I'm simply going to show you guys some pictures I took with my old phone and comment on them. Pretty standard material.

I don't know if it's legal to show some random person's license plate all willy nilly on the internet like this, and I'm too lazy to find out. But this is the baddest ass plate I've ever seen, and I'm not even a Satanist. I saw this while I was driving around town when I was going to school. You're probably thinking it is a vanity plate, but no, Friend, you are wrong; this is what the Kansas vanity plates look like

After the initial wave of awesomeness hits me like opening a hot oven, I notice that this is on a green, 90's Saturn. Not to be stereotypical, but I really like to think that the person who owns this is either an old lady, or just someone who wants nothing to do with a "666 BAD" license plate. "What do you mean I can't trade in my plate for a new one? Can't I trade with that guy? But I volunteered to drive on the church field trip!" 

The Engineering Library at KU is dedicated to this guy:

He was pretty freakin' smart, but damn... When I was completely slap-happy from being up super late studying, this guy's picture did not do me any favors. 

During my senior year a buddy and I watched a few episodes of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. He makes painting look so easy, so I got it into my head that I could be a master painter right away. I got online and ordered a Bob Ross paint kit so I could start bringing in the cash. The kit came with one episode of his show, which a friend and I followed along with. This was my first painting.

A happy little mountain

Apologies for my drunky face. A few weeks after my painting debut the sky near my parents' house got really pretty right before dusk, so I took a picture of that so I could paint it.

I never painted it.

I like to try new things, mostly with food. So when I heard about Mcdonad's McGangBang, I didn't need much persuasion. What's that? You've never heard of a McGangBang? Well, friends, let me explain how you can get your very own McGangBang. The sandwich consists of a Double Cheeseburger, with a McChicken patty split between the two patties of the burger. When ordering at McDonald's, simply ask for it by name; they will probably know what you're talking about. I know it sounds like a practical joke, but I swear it worked for me. This is what I got:

I ate it, too. It was awful.

I worked at a grocery store, Price Chopper, after I graduated while I was looking for a job more suited to the schooling I just put myself 10 years in debt for. The job search took a while, and Price Chopper wasn't ultra fun or anything, but it was easy, plus I liked my coworkers. Besides, if I hadn't worked at Price Chopper I never would have found this gem:

I'm not sure how this picture, of all the pictures of cats on the planet, got chosen to represent Always Save's cat food. Considering the bag costs a whopping $2.39, there are a few possible scenarios: 

1) They took the honest approach. 

Marketing Guy: "No, guys, you don't get it. Our cover cat needs to represent the feel for the cat food! Let's just snap a reaction shot of one of the taste-tester cats after he takes his first bite!"

Cat: *Eats bite, looks up* "You fuckers." 

2) They got lazy.

Marketing Guy: "Ok, so the boss needs a shot of the new cat food. He says it's not a big deal cuz the stuff is only like 2 bucks a bag and kind of people who will buy it aren't buying it for the artwork."

Marketing Girl: "Well, my grandma has a stuffed cat."

Marketing Guy: "Perfect."

3) It was all they could afford.

Marketing Guy: "Scott, put all the potential cover cats on that table so we can pick the best one."

Scott: "Well, here are the cats that showed up to the shoot..."

Marketing Guy: "......"

Marketing Girl: "My grandma has a stuffed cat."

Marketing Guy: "Perfect."


  1. This is awesome! My favorite was the captions under the cat food picture. Thanks for the shout out, btw. :) We created our website tonight! Once its fully functioning I'll send you the link. I'm really glad you inspired me to get into this blog world...Also, we call those delicious sandwiches "McChurgers or McBitchins" here in Fultron. I'm currently searching for the fabric for your Robot and Octopus pillows--I'll let you know what I find.

  2. Well that had me giggling like a five year old for about ten minutes. Thank yous. Oh and the food scares me, alot...

  3. that's my license plate.